New Best Friend

Written by Olivia DeVries, Edited by Kristen Gregg

New Best Friend

i’ve been trying to work on myself.

it’s just so hard

i’m constantly reminded

of my younger days when i would go and play

and nothing was enough

i ate too much or was too shy

it didn’t bother me then but now i cry

for that little girl as a twenty-year-old

that shit follows me everywhere and i’m still told

i look thinner on some days but i really wasn’t trying

then i get in my head “fuck i should’ve been trying”

how much weight should i lose or calories should i cut

i miss a day of the gym and i’m filled with disgust

i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing half of the time

being pretty enough is the only thing on my mind

i try to build myself up to be torn down again

but i’m just trying to be

that little girl’s new best friend.

Truckin'