New Best Friend

Written by Olivia DeVries, Edited by Kristen Gregg

Untitled 4 by Benjamin Tiber

New Best Friend

i’ve been trying to work on myself.

it’s just so hard 

i’m constantly reminded

of my younger days when i would go and play

and nothing was enough

i ate too much or was too shy

it didn’t bother me then but now i cry

for that little girl as a twenty-year-old

that shit follows me everywhere and i’m still told

i look thinner on some days but i really wasn’t trying

then i get in my head “fuck i should’ve been trying”

how much weight should i lose or calories should i cut

i miss a day of the gym and i’m filled with disgust

i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing half of the time

being pretty enough is the only thing on my mind

i try to build myself up to be torn down again

but i’m just trying to be 

that little girl’s new best friend.